Killdozer
A Tale


In 1984 three bored teenagers, sick to the back teeth of their dreary middle American lives, formed a band to play punk rock (the true voice of the disenfranchised youth). They were the brothers Hobson (Dan-drums, Bill guitar) with their old school friend Michael Gerald (guitar and vocals), and together the boys recorded an album and called it Intellectuals Are The Shoeshine Boys Of The Ruling Elite.

They then toured all over the world and recorded some more records.

Sadly, after six glorious years, KILLDOZER grew weary, and decided to take some time off for a few barbecues. While they were settled down, they went ahead and found jobs too - Dan as a carpentry labourer, Michael as a secretary and Bill as something called a "grip".

The boys had obviously temporarily lost sight of why they formed a band.

After 3 years of working, Michael and Dan were simultaneously struck by a revelation: work sucks. Oddly, Billy determined that he liked work. Billy liked work so much, in fact, that he would not play shows with KILLDOZER anymore. Eventually he quit the band outright, in order to spend more time working. Dan and Michael were forced to find a new Billy.

It was right in Madison, Wisconsin that they found Paul Zagoras, "The Greek Jimi Hendrix", and obtained him from his mother at a reasonable price. The three played some shows in the great state of Texas, then returned home to their jobs in the Midwest. All of this work, combined with a steady diet of barbecue ("the Cuisine of the People") and non-stop listening to the Gang of Four's Entertainment LP, inevitably lead to Paul, Dan and Michael becoming hard-line Castro-communists. They quit their jobs to play their revolution-inspiring punk rock full time for the people.

Now we have come to the end of the tale, with Killdozer's last ever release - see the discography section for more details.